Conflict Resolution Suggestions
(updated 23 February 2007) We Need Your Input!!
The reconciliation process experienced by Barry & Jennifer Pendergast at South Calgary Community Church was one of the most unsatisfactory experiences of their lives. Worse than the loss of their son in 1991. Their own experiences in running businesses, facilitating many ministries including marriage courses and the challenges they have faced through 45 years of marriage (mostly happy!!) lead them to be certain that the process at South Calgary left much to be desired. That it incurred $60,000 in legal costs by both sides and did not once really ever bring the parties together is worrying. Its one of the reasons to open the process on this web site and ask for input from others. Read the documents page then offer input. Lets make this a joint learning exercise. Lets jointly find ways to solve the conflicts that arise in Christian circles in a way that brings glory to God. To do otherwise and turn a blind eye to abusive processes only brings shame to the Christian movement as a whole.
During the frustrating period from December 10th 2003, when the mediator found the elders at fault to 12th March 2004, the Pendergasts were negotiating with the mediator through their laywer (not clear why the lawyers were now needed with the Christian mediator appointed and agreed). Barry & Jennifer made it clear in February 2004 they were happy to have the mediator be the sole arbitrator of issues such as costs, how to integrate them back into the church, return to ministry service etc etc. Having been caught at fault the elders refused and seemed to constantly delay an agreement making it more unlikely the Pendergasts could ever return.
If you are in the same situation please learn from Barry & Jennifer's mistakes. They are happy to give informal advice to anybody caught in trying to settle a a serious dispute. They sadly know first hand that Christians are no more likely to act ethically in a dispute than anybody else. Especially leaders caught in a deliberate error.
Some intial thoughts suggest that the way any group resolves conflict is a good indication of their health as an organisation. In a church it is even more important that conflict is dealt with in a manner that is honoring to God and in compliance with scriptual principals, leaving no festering wounds. Leaders who use the force of their spiritual position to resolve conflict to suit their needs must be helped to see the error of their ways.
In view of the hostile circumstances that Steve Berg, various youth pastors/youth interns and many others left the church there were two reconciliation services in 1999 and 2000. Promises were made that this kind of hostility and abuse would never happen again. After all the conflict one would have thought somebody at a leadership level would have developed strategies to permit an orderly way to resolve conflicts on a Biblically sound basis. Sadly this would not be done. It seemed the bylaws were designed only to protect the pastors and elders, not the congregation. That is if the bylaws had been properly registered by the Alberta government.
One other idea that never went beyond a draft stage was the development of an independent, and local spiritual 'triage" unit that would be approached before ireconcilable damage was done in a church conflict. The unit could access the problems and quickly redirect the parties to a volunteer, wise and experienced mediation group. Costs would be minimal and healing of all parties could be a major objective.
Another recent suggestion has been the requirement for all ministers and pastors to go through a full '360 degree" review process perhaps every 7 to 10 years. The review would be both in and outside the church carried out by very experienced Christians; perhaps a group comprised of retired clergy who have demonstrated their life long commitment to the shepherd/pastor role. Such reviews also precipitated by any sense of confict starting.
One source has suggested that some denominations do provide an independent Advocate for those facing excommunication - somebody who can see through any attempts to use secrecy and hostility to force submission of innocent members. Such an Advocate would have quickly seen through the methods used to try to force the Pendergast into submission by enlisting almost the whole of South Calgary Community Church in the efforts. If anybody has details of such a system please email us. If not please help us develop the concept.
Independant exit surveys of church attendees and members might be another tool to honestly access whether there are factors that are damaging the spiritual health of a church and thus its healthy growth.
Many Christians writers suggest conflict and its successful resolution is essential in any healthy church. Please see what Eddy Hall says about this topic in our resources section.
The web site authors invite suggestions for this section.
Pat Ferris, a Phd candidate and an expert in workplace bullying and abuse has offered several publications that she would like to present to any discussion group on this topic. She believes the approaches that she outlines in the two following documents has an applicability in resolving conflict issues in a church environment.
Feel free to dowload both documents.
What Works Best in Organizations for the Management of Conflict