revised 3 May 2005

Notes Taken By Barry Pendergast at a meeting 19th October (Response to Oct 12 Letter)

Present
Kevin Phillips
Craig Edwards
Jim Prichard
Richard Woodman
Barry & Jennifer Pendergast

(Reg Cracknell as the clerk took extensive notes on a computer - can the Barry & Jennifer get a copy?)

The Pendergasts had tried to delay this meeting because they were both busy - Barry had been in Halifax previous 3 1/2 days and working day and night before that but the Elders pressured Barry & Jennifer to meet on the 19th to respond to their Oct 12 letter in which we were falsely accused of many things. The accusations had no details and covered a period from March 21th. 2004. Barry & Jennifer felt rushed. Throughout the meeting it was apparent the elders were holding this meeting as a prelude to excommunicating Barry & Jennifer again. They made it clear they were going to be judge, jury and executioner. No attempt to allow comment on the meeting with Rolly and the serious issues raised.

The meeting was held at Oak Park Church of Christ. Before the meeting Barry & Jennifer handed each elder a letter asking for there to be a Christian approach to solving the difficulties, dealing with conflict in a mature way. The Pendergasts said they would let the Elders consider it while they prayed for 10 minutes in the sanctuary. When Barry & Jennifer returned Elder Craig Edwards who chaired the meeting said the Elders were pleased with our request. Yet the Elders immediately started to attack Barry & Jennifer.

They questioned Barry if he had problems with Jim Wallace the senior pastor - did they have a clash of personalities. Barry agreed he did not necessarily like Jim’s personality (Barry a ENFP and Jim a ENTJ) although he worked very successfully with him in the past. Barry found him very difficult to work over his leadership style but did believe Jim Wallace had reasonable teaching skills. Barry said he worked productively with many people he doesn’t necessarily like. Others in the congregation feel the same way about Pastor Wallace. Barry felt he had done excellent work in the past with Wallace and anticipated doing so in the future. Pretty difficult in this case since Pastor Wallace has not once approached the Pendergasts in the time they had been back. Neither had Kent Blanton another pastor. Seemed the elders need people to mindlessly follow the pastoral staff irrespective of their behavior. Also at the first event back at the church - Maunday Thurs, social only one elder approached the Pendergasts. They have made the Pendergasts feel like outsiders ever since they went back. Have followed and spied on them and and generally made them uncomfortable. Approached people who have been talking to the Pendergasts and turned them into informers.

There was discussion on the Visions and Values - would Barry & Jennifer follow them? Generally the Pendergasts said yes however they noted these had never been the subject of a ‘town hall’ meeting for open discussion and input. In fact there have been no open members meetings in the last 8 years where members could voiced concerns on general issues. The Pendergasts urged the elders for more open debate sessions. They quoted the recent business meeting in which Barry asked tough questions about the resignation of a youth pastor which were not initially answered even though he had resigned two months previously. Only at the end of the meeting did Pastor Wallace agree there had been a resignation two months prior.

The question was raised of the Pendergast's claim there had been considerable spiritual and emotional abuse by the pastoral staff and elders . The elders said they simply did not believe it and refused to have a fair and open process to investigate the allegations. Barry read from Culture of Secrecy and Abuse: A Paradox for Churches by Cara Beed “ Without the moral courage to tell the truth, we are in danger of losing the ‘freedom’ to speak out at all”

The Pendergasts noted Rolly Lang had suggested the denomination should get involved. The Pendergasts confirmed they were aware of close to 30 cases they had heard of. All with similar aspects of false accusations, discrediting, isolation. humiliation etc. (Jim Grady has also had a meeting and considerable correspondence with the elders over the abuse issue - he is awaiting a further meeting to get answers). The elders said they would not investigate any claims because they did not believe them.

The Pendergasts again got confirmation that the only original complaint raised at an elders meeting on 18th Sept 2003 was an email to Denise Chaulk yet the elders letter notes pastor Wallace, Cumberlin and Kevin Phillips and ministry leaders had presented evidence against the Pendergasts. They now agree this was not true since Pastor Wallace had forgiven the Pendergasts on the previous Sunday. The Pendergasts are baffled that the original complaint was therefore unfounded and the accusations false. The evidence was an email to Denise Chaulk who herself voiced serious concerns about the senior pastor to the Pendergasts and others in the church body.

Jennifer outlined a passage in the Bible - Ezekiel 34 in which God sets standards for elders to be shepherds, tend the flock, heal the sick etc. She suggested this group of elders had not met these standards. Reg Cracknell angrily said he did not have to please us rather he would have to deal with that on his day of judgment.


The elders started into the complaints:
(overall the Pendergasts question in general why these complaints were not made at the time to them as required under Matt 18:15 - looks like the elders have encouraged criticism behind they backs.) Some elders seemed be in a time crunch and wanting to rush this part.

March21 Barry.Jennifer speak harsh words to greeters.
Barry agrees he was was angry on their first day back because of the additional words added to the apology. He later apologized to the people concerned except to Craig Edwards and he then asked for Craig to forgive him. Jennifer refused to let a front door greeter hug her because she she was having problems with her chest - Jennifer was in not unpleasant.

April1 - Barry makes a statement to a non-members
No Evidence or winess supplied -not dealt with

early April - Barry and /or Jennifer make a false statement about the elders to others in their home group
No Evidence or witness supplied -not dealt with

April 11,18, 25 - Jennifer attempts to participate in Preschool Sunday School, having been asked previously not to participate
No Evidence or witness supplied -not dealt with

April 28: Barry attends a Senior Men’s Coffee group and talks about his perspective on the lawsuit and leadership at SCCC
No Evidence or witness supplied -nor dealt with

Summer 2004: Barry tries to meet with a former staff members of SCCC to tell him “whats going on” and what the leadership was doing to him.
No Evidence or witness supplied -not dealt with

September 9: Jennifer interacts in an intimidating manner with a member who was taking registration at Ladies Time Out
The elders said Jennifer facial expressions were intimidating! Complaint made by Nicky Nebors.
Jennifer said this was untrue, all she was asked was that the fee she paid last year and was not used because of our exile be put against this year. Nicky Nebors at the registration desk agreed to enquire. Jennifer has two friends who were at her side and confirm her behaviors was pleasant. Barry and Jennifer both noted the Ladies Time Executive had been extremely hostile since the time she went back. This had been addressed in writing and verbally yet nobody seemed to care or want to put things right.

Barry tried to raise the issue of an outstanding grievance with Jim Prichard under Matt 18:15 sent to him on several occasions yet he angrily refuse to discuss it at this meeting


With that the meeting closed because of time constraints on some elders but the Pendergasts asked for the meeting to be continued at a convenient date to work on the outstanding complaints not covered and more of their own where they would bring witnesses. Also these issues need to be worked through as part of the reconciliation. The elders seem to agree this was a reasonable approach. The Pendergast actually left this meeting confident they had made some breakthroughs!



A discussion this last Sunday with the husband (a staff member) of one of these LTO executive said that he and his wife are still angry with us because we took legal action in the first pace - nobody cares if we had a legitimate reason or that the mediator found not fault with us