At the meeting between the mediator, Elders and Pendergasts in September 2004 this letter was referred to. The Elders blamed the Pendergasts for inciting the writer to send it - they could not see it might have a legimate message. It was another lost opportunity to start a real reconcilation process.

From: xxxxxx@shaw.ca>
Date: Sun Sep 26, 2004 9:46:57 PM Canada/Mountain
To: kpaj.phillips@shaw.ca
Cc: Barry Pendergast <barrypendergast@shaw.ca>
Subject: Private & confidential (Re: SCCC)
Attachments: There is 1 attachment


Dear Kevin and the Elders of S.C.C.C.

We have over the past few months befriended Barry and Jennifer Pendergast. Our initial contact with them was after the June membership meeting. Both xxxxx and myself felt very uncomfortable with the spirit and tone of that meeting, with the way the Pendergasts had been treated, and with the lack of discussion and dialogue between the members and the elders. We felt that Barry had in a gentle and gracious way attempted to address the church regarding the events of the past year and wanted to convey a willingness to meet and dialogue in order to find reconciliation with the elders of the church. At that meeting, there was no movement from the church towards the Pendergasts and it seemed to us, that most of the church had very little idea about what the issues were surrounding such a strong action against them.

Since then we have met with the Pendergasts for coffee and lunch, in an attempt to understand them, support them and demonstrate love and acceptance during a very difficult time. They are part of our church family and have over the years, contributed significantly into the goals of the church, and the lives of other families.

We have over the course of our contact with them, heard their side of the story and by listening, have become involved in a dispute that has created great divisions and dissension and pain in church, besides their own deep personal pain. We are disturbed by the way the elders and pastoral staff and many supporting members of S.C.C.C have treated them. We would like to see true reconciliation occur between the church and the Pendergasts.

Reconciliation will never take place when blame is assigned in order to justify one’s own action. We encourage the elders to take the first step towards reconciliation, as being appointed as shepherds and leaders in the church. We feel that the elders need to acknowledge their contribution to the dispute and need to seek sincere forgiveness from both the Pendergasts and the church. We would recommend that the Pendergasts do the same.

We want to recognise that in every conflict there are two sides and two views and often a very fine line of misunderstanding that creates something large from something that could have been resolved much sooner. There is no winner, and blaming or justifying doesn’t resolve anything. The church should be an example of how differences can be expressed and reconciled without fear and a model of how dialogue and grace, forgiveness and love can be duplicated in our own homes and families.

Our prayer is that this upcoming meeting with the Pendergasts will be a significant step towards healing at S.C.C.C. and the beginning of the revival that is so desired and prayed for at S.C.C.C.

Thank you for forwarding this on to the other elders ASAP.

Sincerely,

xxxxxxxxxxx