(updated 19 September 2007 ) If this is like your experiences please share them with us -mailto:bleatinglambs@shaw.ca
Latest press releases - 20th January 2006 In Christian Week - click to read full story
and "Holy Terror' in Western Standard Magazine 20th December 2005 click to see story
Also as the pastors who were involved in this sad experience for the Pendergasts now seek jobs elsewhere and make comments about this web site we do have some thoughts and comments of our own. The game of deception by the church leaders at South Calgary continues . Click to see our thoughts on one
One of many stories known to North American Baptist Conference and others in the Local Christian community....were there no courageous men ask probing questions when so many good people left South Calgary Community Church in suspcious circumstances. More stories on there way!! This story and this web site is presented as a Case Study, as an example of just how wrong a church can go off track in being a genuine bride of Christ. At the least we hope visitors to this page will be persuaded to look carefully at your own church and the safeguards needed to see that abuse does not take place. Nothing can replace spiritually and emotionally mature Christians who have the courage to challenge abuse whereever it occurs. We hope such Christians will be in leadership positions where they can truly protect the flock.
Barry & Jennifer Pendergast belonged to South Calgary Community Church for 9 years and invested willingly and lovingly in many ministry areas. Barry & Jennifer were delighted to initiate the first organised marriage course at the church especially when a marriage retreat in March 2003 identified so many couples in medium to serious difficulties. It pained them greatly to see little being done to assist the couples. When after 9 years they lovingly questioned the unethical behavior of elders, pastors, and a pastor's wife on issues relating to the Marriage Course they were treated cruelly, threatened, excommunicated and banned from all church buildings and activities; the first time in October 2003. Despite repeated requests, the Pendergasts were unable to have the proof of the mass accusations leveled in the elder's letter of 22nd September 2003.
A year later Kevin Phillips would admit there was no mass reasons stated in his letter only one email that Barry had sent to an elder and friend Denise Chaulk noting the serious level of abuse and threats given by Pastor Wallace.
A year of serious and aggravated spiritual abuse had been inflicted on the Pendergasts to protect the lies given to their fellow elders by Pastors Wallace & Cumberlin and Kevin Phillips at their 18th September 2003 meeting. And Pastor Wallace now in January 2006 dares to question in Christian Week why his repution and integrity is being attacked. Perhaps some day Wallace and Phillips will have the decency to meet the Pendergasts and other of the victims in a public place and be told the depth of how he has hurt them.
As the original dispute quickly spiralled out of control Kevin Phillips, Chairman of the Elders, and the elders would NOT agree to outside assistance to help resolve the conflict. Both Kevin Phillips and Senior Pstor Jim Wallace refused to heed the Executive Director of North American Baptist Conference Ron Berg's insistance that a third party be called in. It would take almost a year for the Kevin Phillips to admit, infront of the mediator, the decision to discipline was based on a single confidential email sent to a Denise Chaulk, friend & spiritual advisor to the Pendergast and elder. A friend who herself and her husband had voiced open concerns about the senior pastor's controlling attitude. And to this day the Pendergasts believe this email was valid, private but should have touched off an immediate enquiry in the behaviour of the senior pastor. Also when church leaders are caught in deliberate lying and abuse as at South Calgary Community Church should they be held accounable for the cost of any action taken by the abused to defend themselves? Click to read more.
Early on in the dispute Barry and Jennifer either were called by others who had 'mysteriously' left the church or they contacted members/attendees who had not been around for some time. They carried out what amounted to an exit survey. A pattern of hurt people began to emerge. These included ex elders, ex staff members and long term members and attendees. Many of these stories were independently verified by another source. The Pendergast feel some concern that they had missed the warning signs and had not thought to question why long time members would move on and continue to feel so negatively about SCCC. Perhaps we can ask visitors to this site if this a common problem?
When Kevin Phillips announced the decision to excommunicate the Pendergasts at a members only meeting in November 2003 no details were given and no questions were allowed. The decision was announced at morning and evening services. Several members later remarked they thought the Pendergasts had committed something worst than murder! The members were left to let their imagination run wild on what the Pendergasts might have done.
A respected Christian friend of the Pendergasts, distressed by the unfair circumstances called an elder and said did they realize they had condemned Barry & Jennifer to the Gates of Hell. There was only silence. Only much later would Bishop Henry confirm the seriousness of what had happened.
Naturally the Pendergasts were not allowed at the meeting to refute the charges or question their accusers. Elders Craig Edwards and Reg Cracknel also visited the Pendergast's Home Group and ensured all support would be withdrawn. Again the Pendergasts would not be allowed to be there to defend themselves. Several Home Group members were very critical of the unfair and unethical way the elders conducted themselves. Barry and Jennifer found this whole experience deeply humiliating and unfair.
After Barry met with the Ron Berg, the Executive Director of the denomination on October 2nd. 2003 in Chicago, Ron would insist the parties seek the help of a third party to settle what he described as a minor conflict. This advice given to Rev. Wallace and Kevin Phillips went unheeded. On October 5th. 2003 Barry was at a meeting at The Billy Graham COVE Centre in North Carolina on business for Samaritan's Purse. Diane Young an elder and the Comptroller for Samaritan's Purse Canada was also present. Barry requested a meeting with Diane to voice his concerns over the lack of evidence against himself and Jennifer; the pattern of abuse to others and the need for third party help to resolve the conflict. Diane said she was uncomfortable discussing the subject. This seemed like another missed opportunity to start a resolution of the conflict. In any case Barry felt Diane Young was in a conflict of interest position in view of Barry's position as the lead architect for the Samaritan's Purse and Billy Graham Evangelical Association's new Canadian headquarters - seemed you cannot have a person signing checks to you as well as being in a postion to adjudicate you spiritually. This concern went unheeded and Barry sadly resigned after three years working on a project he found deeply satisfying - perhaps the most of his long career as an architect. He was greatly saddened to resign.
Although the church had had to go through several reconciliation services with a past senior pastor and many ex members no conflict resolution process was ever developed. Any reasonable questioning of pastoral or elder behaviour met with threats and accusations.
Excommunicated, banned from the church, and unable to find the real cause of the hostile, cruel and unfair action taken against them the Pendergasts served an affidavit on the elders and church to have the matter brought into the open before a wise man. An action that would be held against the Pendergasts by the elders, pastors, ministry leaders and church members making reconciliation virtually impossible. The elders were also served not to have the bylaws and church governance approved by the Alberta Registrar General. The bylaws which went through a series of major changes in 1992 and a number of times after were never properly in effect at the time the Pendergasts were originally disciplined. Almost immediately after they were served the elders agreed to mediation by a respected Christian mediator Roland Laing. Just two days before the meeting with the mediator, the Pendergasts received a strange accusitory email sent by a Ministry Leader and wife of a staff member - seemed if the Pendergasts would forgive the church for the excommunication and abuse visited on them everyone could get on as normal!The neglect to seek outside help at the onset of the conflict would result in the church reportedly spending close to $40,000 in legal fees. The mediator would find the Pendergasts had not been treated fairly and helped restore their membership. Despite admitting they acted unfairly the elders refused to pay the Pendergast's legal, medical and counseling fees. See the reasoned request for this.
Also the elders decided to add an additional paragraph to the agreement. This was done after months of careful and expensive negotiation. Despite requests to take the offending paragraph off a second reprinting the elders refused. A judge in the US and a relative of one of the pastors viewed it like this " I can understand your deep concern when a signed document is changed "after-the-fact". I know such an action is not ethical even if the intent was well-meaning."
Nobody else agreed it was offensive and prejudical, even the mediator. Equally sad is the fact that a group of Christians could not settle a serious agreement without lawyers. How many times did the Pendergasts need to be emotionally and spiritually abused before they would need to take action? Many argue serious emotional and spiritual abuse is equal to sexual abuse yet nobody questions that a sexual abuser should be taken through a legal process.
The Pendergasts and the elders were due to meet March 15 2004 according to the contract - the elders claim the Pendergasts delayed the meeting but fail to note that Jennifer was hospitalised twice for suspected heart attacks and under the care of her doctors. The mediator was very concerned too about Jennifer's readyness for a meeting. Even so the elders harrassed and stalked her despite her medical condition. At one stage the Pendergasts asked that the elders put their concerns in writing to ease the load on the Pendergasts in their fragile state. Both Rolly Laing the mediator and elder Craig Edwards agreed this was a good idea. It would take the elders six weeks to say the did not think it was a good idea. Was it because their only evidence was based on a single email, the Pendergasts sent to an elder and friend Denise Chaulk in confidence. Then with holidays, mainly on the part of the elders the planned meeting did not take place until late September 2003. All during this time the shunning and isolation continued. At no time did the Pendergasts unreasonably refuse to meet. Jennifer's health concerns were paramount.
The elders would quickly claim that they only made a procedual error the first time - not really been unfair ... but they would get it right the second time! Very quickly the elders and pastors would work with vigor to excommunicate the Pendergast's a second time in October 2004, using a new set of unsubstantiated charges and harassing them at every opportunity. The elders only bothered with a single meeting with the mediator and a single meeting alone with the Pendergasts before they took action. They gave the mediator no chance to find common ground and brushed aside charges that there was a pattern of serious spiritual abuse at the church. Several elders at this last meeting showed considerable unwarrented anger at the Pendergasts. Again the Pendergasts now remain banned from all church buildings and activities. Jennifer is unable to attend Ladies Time Out with her friends and Barry cannot attend the weekly Senior Mens Group at Macdonalds. A church they passionately invested 9 years of their service in many ministry areas. Service that was recognised in a major award presented to Barry & Jennifer in June 2003.
After the first excommunication the Pendergasts would find many others who could share stories of abuse by SCCC pastors and elders, yet nobody would believe them because of the veil of secrecy. Requests made to the church leaders and the denomination (North American Baptist Conference)for fairness, by the Pendergasts and others, would go unheeded. Many questions of unethical behaviour by the church leaders remain. A number of questions relate to the confidentiality of counselling sessions and information on individuals and couples that appears to have been given out without the permission of the individuals involved.
What has enabled this type of behaviour to continue over a number of years? Are all the pastors, elders, denomination representatives, staff members, accountability partners and congregation apathetic or oblivious to those that have left under suspicious circumstances? Ex elders no longer at the church have expressed their frustration at not being able to make the pastors accountable. Long term issues surround the fate of youth pastors and youth pastor interns at the church as previous youth pastors and interns will attest. The current youth pastor, Mike Wiebe is about to leave. Although Mike resigned in April 2004 the information was withheld from the members until a member's question revealed the information at a business meeting in June 2004.It is hoped any new candidate for this position will research what has happened to the last youth pastors and interns.
Pastor Kent Blanton the pastor of music, worship and an elder is somewhat of an enigma. His name was added to the statement that admitted unfairness although his position on the issues remains unknown. Barry had worked closely with Kent to create the new visual display systems. Jennifer worked closely with Kent's wife Elaine in the children's ministry areas. For several years Kent and his wife Elaine were happy to have Miss Jenny and Mr. Barry as surrogate grandparents for their three sons. Barry & Jennifer attended school functions and they were happy to have the boys sleep over a number of times. At the outset of the conflict Kent claimed a deep friendship with Barry that could withstand storms. However as soon as the the conflict developed Kent and his family shunned, disowned and avoided the Pendergasts. This hurt Barry & Jennifer badly. Pastor Mike Weibe also admitted his name was on the statement as an elder admitting the unfairness but he was not aware of the circumstances, and did not wish to know. Where were Pastor Blanton and Pastor Weibe's responsibilities to hold their fellow pastors and elders accountable?
The Pendergasts have many times told friends that this experience has been much more painful, many times more than the loss of their precious son Simon in 1991. The effect on Jennifer has been serious. She has been hospitalised several times due the stress of hostile actions of the pastors, elders and Ladies Times Out Executive. Up to September 2003 Jennifer was highly acclaimed in her work with the children of the church. Indeed in June 2003 Vivian Chelsted, the Director of Children's Ministries wrote her a glowing letter for her many years of service to the children in Sunday School. A church bulletin insert would give similar glowing praise. She enjoyed a similar reputation for her work with young children at Ladies Time Out. Jennifer also had successfully had a contract to provide parenting seminars to ladies at Ladies Time Out. In September 2003 Rev Marg Cumberlin and the Ladies Time Out Executive broke that contract without reason. Pastor Cumberlin and elder Denise Chaulk took over the contract. This was deeply humiliating to Jennifer. Months later she would be barred from any contact with the children. She was seen as a threat. One elder, Richard Woodman actually stalked her around the church to prevent her entering the children's preschool. The sight of many children joyfully running up to Jennifer after a 5 month absence was too much for the elders. Nothing could have hurt Jennifer more. Sadly Jennifer has not been the only lady who has been hospitalised due to the abuse from the church leaders.
Kevin and his fellow Elders would try as Ron Susek says "Power themselves out of the problems". But they were caught in so many mistruths.
The Elders at South Calgary Community Church made almost every one of the mistakes that Ron Susek mentions in disciplining the Pendergasts. They would rather use unbelievable bullying and spiritual abuse to deter anybody asking tough questions about the history of abuse by themselves, pastoral staff, ministry staff and denomination respresentatives. Only a full independent enquiry can get to the truth.
One ex elder and Christian counsellor has confirmed that he has either treated or is aware of a number of those abused yet has done little to bring those involved to account.
The church leaders clearly do not understand the shepherd/sheep model of governance. It was no surprise in October 2004, during a sermon on Ezekiel 37 to hear the senior pastor , Rev James Wallace suggest that Ezekiel 34 is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted passages in the bible and often unfairly used to attack church leaders. Only days before the Pendergasts had pleaded with the elders to review this passage as they dealt with them.
Twice the pastors and elders would hold membership meetings to discuss the Pendergast's excommunication yet the Pendergasts were not allowed to attend to present a defense. The second meeting also had the endorsement of the denomination. Under any circumstances a grossly unfair and unethical decision. 4th November 2004 Barry wrote to elder Graig Edwards noting the unfairness of the elder's decision process. Now that the South Calgary leaders have refused an appeal of the two excommunications and a request for reconciliation Barry & Jennifer will open their files and cut through the secrecy and web of lies used to abuse them.
At the members meeting in November 2004 that the Pendergasts or their representatives could not attend, Pastor Wallace is reported to have said " I forgive the Pendergasts". Barry & Jennifer are mystified by this statement and do not know what Pastor Wallace was referring to. They are somewhat concerned that Pastor Wallace forgave them on 14 September 2003 then, four days later took part with Kevin Phillips, Pastor Cumberlin and others in laying multiple charges against Barry & Jennifer. Seems to the Pendergasts there were some elements of the Biblical foregiveness process missing. One Christian counsellor would refer to it as ' Ritualistic Forgiveness' - more designed to deflect blame than solve a real problem.
The Pendergasts and others will tell their side of the story on this site and at every opportunity presented to them. They hope they might work with Christian academic institutions to openly discuss the topic with future leaders in the church. Should institutions be much more careful in who they accredit for work in pastoral ministry? This site will provide links to the many resources and sites of friends they have made around the world that challenge church leaders who unfairly usurp their position with their flocks. Those will to tell their stories will work proactively with others to make Christian churches abuse free and come alongside those undergoing the pain of abuse and isolation. They are encouraged by the many publications on the topic. The various publications by Cara Beed and Escape From Church Inc. by Glen Wagner have shown there are other ways to lovingly teach, protect and gently lead the flock by example; not by use of abuse and fear. Sites like www.batteredsheep.com show the problem of abusive churches is widespread. As Cara Beed notes, apathy is alive and well in so many churches and it creates an atmosphere for abuse to happen unheeded and unnoticed.
The Pendergasts want to thank the small number of friends that have stood beside them in this tragic battle for truth. Friends who wrote letters to the elders and denomination but never received replies that provide any solutions to a long term problem. Friends who join the call for an independent inquiry into long term abuse at the church and what action is required to rebuild South Calgary to a healthy church. A church that will no longer have a high turnover of attendees. A church that will not turn Christians away from their faith. Several catholic friends wrote to Bishop Henry asking for his intervention in view of his friendship with Rev Wallace. While the Bishop declined helping he did confirm the action by the elders was pretty close to excomunication. This at least contradicted statements by elder Reg Cracknell that the loss of the Pendergast's membership was just like losing membership in the local golf club.
Above all they pray for reconciliation with all those at South Calgary Community Church, however tough the process maybe. A process that now must be open and transparent. A process that hopefully will provide a light to help other churches resolve conflict. They pray Christian leaders in the Calgary Christian Community will gladly come forward to help in the process.
Barry and Jennifer will say that they have visited several other churches during their exile and have been received in great love, by wonderful servant pastors, yet their experiences at South Calgary will likely stop their close involvement with any future church. Their trust in leaders is shattered and might never be restored.
They continue to participate in organising marriage courses at other churches . Their vision of putting the course in a community setting has not completely disappeared.
Feel free to write to us at bleatinglambs@shaw.ca. Stay tuned!
The Pendergasts worked with Pastor Cumberlin closely a number of times....they possibly feel a greater sense of betrayal by Pastor Cumberlin than anybody else in this tragic situation. They would find many more who would experience this same sense of betrayal.