Other resources worth reviewing:
11th September 2007
Always check out our home page before you leave - always new additions......
NEW -Even www.youtube.com has intersting articles on Spiritual Abuse - here is one - Dr. Stephen Arterburn - Surviving Spiritual Abuse _ "Some people pick religion as an addiction and get obsessed with rules and regulations rather than a real realationship with God" Tune into YouTube and trying searching on topic for other sequences.
Try visiting christian walking holidays www.pilgrim-adventure.org.uk. One visitor to our site wrote" I went on my first PA trip after the Spiritual abuse and found it to be very non threating ,gentle and plenty of space given to be yourself ,and I know for myself I was Very wary of ANY christian setup ,and it was one of the places where God began the healing process" . We hope to be able to announce another inititive involving Pilgrim Adventures and the healing of spiritually abused victims.
NEW -A Mid Week Retreat by Pilgrim Adventures in the UK "What happens When God and the meaning of life goes Missing "?A .midweek retreat to explore this space .It will be led by Simon Parke
Wednesday-Friday 7-9th November 2007 at the retreat centre , Wydale Hall Yorkshire
richardling969@hotmail.com or address Mr Richard Ling 46a South Road West Bridgford Nottingham NG2 7AH England phone #- international code---- 0115-9142572.
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If you have a link that is not listed here please write to us at bleatinglambs@shaw.ca We would also appreciate your input and thoughts about some of the links suggested here - do you find them useful?
Are you undergoing the same kind of cruel acts of complicity as those on this site suffered at the hands of Rev Ron Berg, the Executive Director of the North American Baptist Conference, their Representative in Alberta Rev Bob Walthers, South Calgary Pastors Rev Jim Wallace, Rev Marg Cumberlin, Rev Kent Blanton, Elders Chaired by Kevin Phillips and South Calgary Community Church members. The acts to prevent fair (or any!)hearings by the Pendergasts and Jim Grady against the abuse they suffered frankly makes you wonder just how much abuse goes on worldwide to protect and cover up abusive leaders! Certainly the evidence on this site suggests a high level of corruption by people who should know and act better. We hope our resources in this part of the site will provide you valuable insights in how to cope better in your current situation. We even hope some wise and mature leaders will be prompted to implement a fair hearing process before any accusation of guilt is made.
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NEW - “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it” (Martin Luther King)
"The world is a dangerous place to live in not because of the people who do evil, but because of the people who sit and it let it happen" - Albert Einstein
NEW - Speaking of all those that remain passive and just sit , watch and let evil happen in Christ's church here's one of many examples. Where was the accountability? In every case of abuse there are likely many more who are a witness to abuse yet are scared to intervene..they then become accomplices. Base your action on the question "What would Jesus do?" : COMING SOON THIS WEDNESDAY ON NATIONAL TV:
THE GOOD FATHER
Wednesday February 28 at 9pm & midnight on CBC-TV
For four decades, Father Charles Sylvestre tended a number of Catholic parishes in southwestern Ontario. He had committed his life to serving God on earth. But, during that time, Father Sylvestre had a secret - he sexually molested little girls between the ages of 7 and 12 and, for years, he got away with it because the church kept silent, protecting the priest and its own public image. Why should we be surprised anymore?
-NEW -
The Melbourne Anglican
Challenging a culture of bullying in the Church
Arbuckle identifies the structure of an organisation inherently vulnerable to bullying by those who are powerful within it, a structure which could easily be identified with some church groups.
“A hierarchical model of culture encourages bullying,” says Arbuckle. “Boundaries of the group and the style of interpersonal relationships within [a hierarchical model] are sharply defined. People are expected to fit into a tradition based system in which superiors are presumed to have a monopoly on knowledge by right, subordinates are expected to conform and be dependent. Detailed and rigid morally sanctioned rules about how the human body (and the social body) is to be controlled are exemplified in codes regarding dress and posture. Any infraction of such rules is seen as a dangerous expression of individuality. In brief, people fear to break customs lest the group punish them by, for example, ostracising or ridiculing them.”
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NEW -Great new resource site http://www.spirituallysafe.com/ if you are facing a spiritually abusive situation read "What Can I Do? section. Lots of sound advice on how to apply biblical principals but if that fails then perhaps the best course is to walk away. Know that the people noted in bleatinglambs.org felt led by God not to do that even though it resulted in the most painful experience in their lives.
NEW -The Signs Of Spiritual Abuse By Steven Lambert, ThD The following link is adapted from the book, CHARISMATIC CAPTIVATION, by Steven Lambert.. An excerp so pertinent to the whole South Calgary situation "The proper role of human under-shepherds is to lead people to the Great Shepherd, Jesus Christ, and teach them how to be His disciples, in submission to Him and His authority. Hyper-authoritarian leaders, instead, lead people to themselves, and indoctrinate them to be their followers, in total submission to them and their authority. In essence, these dominating shepherds teach they are the church-members' de facto lord, master, and savior, rather than Christ. They indoctrinate members to believe the spiritual leaders of the church themselves are the members' "spiritual covering" (a totally false and patently unbiblical concept), and any member who ever leaves the church will be "out from under" their "covering," be without any covering or what they call, "uncovered," and will experience terrible curses and other horrible consequences as a result. From the pulpit often come "horror stories" about what happened to such-and-so person or family, who were so spiritually bereft or rebellious as to leave the group without the blessings and approval of their "spirital authority."
Paradise Springs Community Church Survivor Group has some good resources on spiritual abuse - Has all the familiar signs!!
NORTH AMERICAN BAPTIST CONFERENCE
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR SEARCH SURVEY JULY 2006. Hope visitors to this site will, go to the NABC site and fill in the questionaire for the new director to replace Ron Berg. If you carefully read the content on this site you will know that questions have been raised about the unethical behavior of senior NABC staff that remain unanswered. We pray the new Director will do us the curtesy of listening to those unanswered concerns. Click for the questionaire.
From an article by Steve Martin on " Authoritarianism In The Church" -"Sad to say, but the sheep themselves contribute their own sins to the creation of authoritarian ministries. Having talked with several wounded sheep, it has struck me how seldom they have seen their own culpability. They are quick to foist all blame upon their harsh taskmasters. But petty dictators cannot reign without the consent of their craven lackeys and servile subjects. There are at least three sins which they contribute to the sinful pathology of authoritarian churches."
NEW - 21 Steps to a 21st Century Church - Part 1 by Dan Edelen - "During this five-part series we'll be examining the ways that today's Church in the West can rise above mediocrity and get back to being all it can be. We'll count down to what I feel are the most important issues we need to address by order of importance. - click to read more
Ministry Abuse Recovery - some useful words of wisdom from Pastor Jack Porecello at Joining Hands, A Free Church in Rochester NY. Some useful pointers to test if you are being spiritually abused.
A research paper on Spiritual Abuse by Jeannie Cochrane -SPIRITUAL GROWTH MINISTRIES TRUST, New Zealand (Aotearoa). Other research material at their web site
Worth noting our friends at www.batteredsheep.com have a new and excitng revamped website. Their site has been a great and wonderful inspiration to us.
Are you one of the many loyal and sincere church members who faithfully and cheerfully attend, support and participate in a local church, but have a nagging, persistent inward "thought" that "something is just not right here?" Charismatic Captivation By Dr. Steven Lambert Finally! the black & white Real Truth about authoritarian abuse in many churches!
WHAT IS GOSSIP? IS QUESTIONING A PREACHER’S TEACHING GOSSIP?...read more
The question of raising church abuse issues in public - is it right? - like airing dirty laundry? Read more
To use or not use legal resources when abusers cannot be held to account? Or where can you find a wise man?
A new site we were just informed about - Paradise Springs Community Church Survivor Group. Seems to have a lot of useful and relevant information on abuse issues.
LetMyPeopleGo ....Just came across this great site in Australia - lots of useful information. Click to read more
Dr. Maurice Chapman offers some good insights into spiritual abuse. Click to read more
Checklist: A Measure of Evil : CBC Television program estimated there are 300,000 psychopaths in Canada alone - not all kill but still can be dangerous to those around them. Likely some have ended up in the church ministry. Tests now available to check whether a person has a tendency to hurt. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/show/CTVShows/20060317/measure_of_evil/20060317/
You Asked For A Sermon on Psychopaths by Victor Shepherd: Are They Responsible Or Have They Consciously Chosen Evil? Click to read more. http://www.victorshepherd.on.ca/sermons/psychopaths.htm
Bringing bullyimg in the workplace out into the glare of media. http://www.bullybusters.org/
I Lift My Eyes .... psalm121.ca
We have added a link to this site based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Has many resources for those undergoing abusive experiences of many kinds including those in a church environment. Links available to Christian counsellors and self help groups.
COURAGEOUS FOLLOWERS, COURAGEOUS LEADERS
NEW RELATIONSHIPS FOR LEARNING AND PERFORMANCE
How many times have you worked in an organization in which bright, mid-level managers were frustrated by the difficulty of influencing senior executives whose leadership style was impeding organizational growth, productivity or morale?
“Young Turks,” as they are sometimes called, are often brimming with energy to innovate and test new ways of meeting organizational challenges. The senior executives, who cultural myth holds to be the change agents, are often mired in old ways of doing things with which they are comfortable. They are the roadblock, not the road, to innovation." by Ira Chaleff i president of Executive Coaching & Consulting Associates in Washington, D.C. Information on this and his book, "The Courageous Follower: Standing Up To and For Our Leaders" (Berrett - Koehler) can be found at www.exe-coach.com.Click to read more
What Is Spirtual Abuse - Another series of defintions - Click here to see more
www.bullyonline.org -For most people, discovering Bully OnLine at www.bullyonline.org is a turning point in their lives.Those who can do, those who can't, bully . A web site devoted to define what bullying is and how to recognise it. Click here to visit site
The Serial Bully at http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm
Who Do People trust?
"Even with respect to the most highly-trusted professions, such as Nurses and Doctors, Canadians are placing less trust in people compared to last year. Regarding professions in the middle of the index, such as Lawyers, Environmentalists, Bankers, and Accountants - Canadians have shifted toward even less trust as well as toward increasing levels of distrust."
The level of pubic trust for the clergy is hardy encouraging and perhaps explains why the church has had so little influence in Canadian politics. Click to read more about the Pollara survey of Canadians
Defence Against Power Abuse in God's Church (Part 1) by J and J Maring (in Western Australia)
Take note of what David writes: Psalm 55:12-14 NIV
12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
Paul wrote to Timothy in 1Tim 3:15: ...I am writing you these instructions so that... you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. To read more about J & J Maring's experiences click here.
The issue of nepotism by church leadership is raised in the story pages as a factor in the abuses that took place. On a regular basis we hear Christian friends tell us how a family member, related to a pastor or elder is quietly brought in as a paid staff member or ministry leader. Or a pastor/minister's family members use their family connection to achieve gaining decisions and power. The effects of this can be devastating. In the real world many companies, educational institutions and goverment agencies now have implemented a zero tolerance on nepotism. We hope to add weight to those churches and denominations who dare to follow the real world on this issue. We are collecting infromation to present an informed view on this topic. If you have examples of nepotism and the way it is used to abuse please share them with our readers. Write to us at info@bleatinglambs.org. Read what Bringham Young University says about Nepotism.
BUILDING A (church) LEADERSHIP development plan - Feedback from a 360-degree assessment is discussed with the leader. A growth plan can then be developed to establish action steps for specific areas where the leader may be lacking. An assessment reveals strengths and growth opportunities, allowing the leader to focus on improvement and establishing a benchmark by which to compare future assessments. Challenge has to do with the process by which leaders develop. The Center for Creative Leadership research reveals what many of us know as pastors, that people grow the most during difficult situations. Whether it is a personal crisis, a career struggle or a difficult project, we learn the most through challenges and even failures. Click to read more
Bill Hybels has written a book on the topic of 360 reviews called Courageous Leadership.
LEADERSHIP THEORY FOR PASTORS
Article by Sharon Drury, Ph.D., Organizational Leadership. Read how author and pastor Bill Hybels applies the 360 degree concept in a slightly different way. He believes there are 4 directional aspects to great leadership .... Click to read more
Toxic Churches: Spiritual abuse devastates its victims perhaps more than any other form of violation, because it targets those who are most unprepared and vulnerable. In Toxic Churches, Marc Dupont reaches out to those who have given their time, money, and talents to the Body of Christ, only to find themselves hurting, frustrated, and confused. He also writes to Christian leaders who may have inadvertently hurt the flock of God entrusted to their care. Click to read more & order
BIBLICAL ELDERSHIP DEFINED -Alexander Strauch lives with his wife and four children in Littleton, Colorado. The author of The New Testament Deacon: The Church’s Ministry of Mercy and The Hospitality Commands, Mr. Strauch has been a teacher and an elder at Littleton Bible Chapel for the past twenty-five years. Click to read more
Monday Manna - Whistle Blowing Can Be Lonely. Click to read more
Beware of the Spirit of Religion - a New Book From Gillis Triplett Ministries
* What is a ministry's worst nightmare?
* What must every pastor be on guard for?
* What must every congregation protect itself from?
Interview With H. B. London - Ethics And Ministry — Living Above Reproach "Today, there is much arrogance and self-centeredness in the ministry. It affects our behavior not only spiritually, but also morally and ethically. We need to return to sound biblical doctrinal teaching, preaching, and living. Pastors must be willing to address sin; if they do not, people will not know what truth is." Click to see more
Workplace bullying - churches no exception. Stereotypes of bullies as robust, strong people who pick on the weak are out of date. It is now known that bullies have low self esteem and high self-discipline. The distinguishing feature of a bully is not strength but an ingrained deceitfulness. The motive is a projection of pain: causing someone else suffering, rather than facing up to one's own. Often humiliated or violated as children bullies target aggressively and violently those perceived as a threat in adult life. Techniques used include withholding information, dishonesty, misleading, abuse of power and confidentiality, malicious rumour, fabrication, and intimidation. The bully feels incompetent, is terrified of being found out, and will progress from one target to another. A vicious circle. Read more.
Uniting Church in Australia Interim Code of Ethics for Ministers of the Word, Deacons, Deaconesses, Youth Workers, Community Ministers and Lay Pastors in the Uniting Church in Australia.
2.4. Ministers shall exercise their ministry in a manner that expresses:
-commitment to God;
• commitment to the call of the church to ministry;
• the professional nature of the relationship; and ensures:
• that Ministers do not seek to meet their personal needs through the pastoral relationship;
• respect for others;
• the non-abusive use of power;
• that clear boundaries are recognised and observed. (ie the relationship and behaviour are appropriate to the pastoral relationship)
Click here to see full document.
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oxegen - Life In Christ - Blog site with stories of abuse. Levitical model of hierarchical lends itself to abuse. The division of the body into clergy and laity is the most serious division in the body of Christ, but is not being addressed. Go to web site
WHISTLE-BLOWING - Whistle-blowing can be defined as an employee’s disclosing to the public illegal, immoral or unethical behavior of an employer or organization that is likely to result in harm to others. Whistle-blowing should not be done without serious reflection on the part of the prospective whistle-blower. It presents a moral conflict of loyalty-between one’s employer and/or colleagues and the prevention of harm to third parties. Click here to read more
The Smear Campaign of the Abuser we can all relate to the way our abusers recruit allies and resort to spreading lies, malicious projection, finger-pointing, backstabbing and false rumours by factless innuendo and cruel insinuation. This rallying of troops to his 'camp', the enablers that work with them, is the well-worn tactic of the personality disordered fending off exposure. His lies and calumny an effective coverup of his own actions. Click to read more.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD FOLLOWER? "Experts have long been saying there's a shortage of leaders. But some are beginning to propose that the real shortage is in followers. In his book, "The Leader's Compass," Dennis Haley, CEO of Academy Leadership, writes that recent scandals were "at the very least enabled by yes men and yes women who adapted chameleonlike." Click to read more.
A commentary on Matthew 18:15 - a Biblical way to solve conflict. Seems to have been a process that was completely ignored at South Calgary Community Church by pastors, elders, ministry leaders and congregational members, contrary to the church bylaws. The evidence to this is extensive. Click here for more detail
Dealing with Anger - Christanity Today-Learning about the causes of anger and how to deal with it can help believers to "be angry but … not sin." by Debra Fieguth: Has an interview with Dr. Wes Fehr . Dr. Fehr of Lifeline Counselling Calgary is also a member of South Calgary Community Church. Any enquiry at South Calgary Community Church would need to interview Dr. Fehr on his knowledge of abuse by leaders at the church. Did he treat anybody from the church? . Click here for more detail
BULLYING. IT SURROUNDS US IN OUR DAILY LIVES. t's all about power. Power can be intoxicating, exhilarating and addictive. But power, when abused, turns into bullying...and bullying hurts people, leaves lasting scars and can destroy lives. Click here for more details
Holding Leaders Accountable in a Culture of Peace™ PeaceMaker Ministries
Is personality a factor in the actions of abusive church leaders? Try a taking a Myers Briggs test.
The Conflict Resolution Source
Escape From Church, Inc.: The Return of the Pastor-Shepherd: by E. Glenn Wagner
Recovering From Churches That Abuse: (Zondervan, 1994). by Dr. Ronald Enroth
Article on Spiritual Abuse, 1992 : by Dr. Ronald Enroth
Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free from Bad Church Experiences: by Ken Blue
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: by David Johnson, Jeff VanVonderen
Apathy Is The Real Killer: Cara Beed - Published in Theology Today, Australia
Perspectives On Power Secrecy and Abuse (in the church): by Cara Beed
Ron Susek - Author of Firestorm..well worth making the purchase of this book - for details
Ron Susek: The Top Seven Mistakes Church Leaders Make
Fractured Families - The Story of a Melbourne Church Cult: by Morag Zwartz
http://www.peacemakerministries.org/
http://www.resolvechurchconflict.com/
The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader - Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow: by John C. Maxwell
http://www.living-stones.com/conflictgoogle.htm:Your church's conflict - God's opportunity
Ron Fraser, President, Alberta Bible College speaks out on church leadership
Tim Callaway writes on church leadership abuse
WHY YOUR CHURCH NEEDS CONFLICT: by Eddy Hall
http://leavingfundamentalism.org by David L. Rattigan a Canadian working in he United Kingdom
http://www.spiritualabuse.org/
Check out this Train (http://thistrain.blogspot.com/) -- recent entries: Violence and Christianity
Seasons of Life (http://seasonsoflife.blogspot.com/) -- recent entries: Living High and Letting Die
"Sociologists looks for patterns in human behavior and in social institutions. As you read the following pages, a profile of pastoral and spiritual abuse will emerge. Abusive churches, past and present, are first and foremost characterized by strong, control-oriented leadership. These leaders use guilt, fear, and intimidation to manipulate members and keep them in line. Followers are led to think that there is no other church quite like theirs and that God has singled them out for special purposes. Other, more traditional evangelical churches are put down. Subjective experience is emphasized and dissent is discouraged. Many areas of member's lives are subject to scrutiny. Rules and legalism abound. People who don't follow rules or who threaten exposure are often dealt with harshly. Excommunication is common. For those who leave, the road back to normalcy is difficult." Source: Churches That Abuse by Ronald Enroth
From Today's Monday Manna:SHAPING, AND MASTERING, YOUR MISSION
"How about you?Whether it's your personal mission or your corporate mission, are you succinct and clear on what that mission is, and are the people around you convinced of your commitment to your mission - based on your actions? Or is there inconsistency between your talk and your walk? If we are as devoted to our mission as we claim to be, our motto - to paraphrase an old saying - should be, "Do as I say...and as I do."
Monday Manna is an excellent source of inspirational Christian message - If you would like to view Monday Manna use the following link -http://www.cbmc.ca/resources_manna.html