"Meanwhile, the Pendergasts say they hope to work with Christian academic institutions to openly discuss the topic of spiritual abuse with future church leaders, perhaps developing manuals and a think tank. Last fall they helped to organize a spiritual abuse seminar at Alberta Bible College.
“We want to be very proactive and develop more discerning followers who are critical thinkers who will follow good leaders with a vision"
Barry & Jennifer plan to turn their pain into proactive action to help others caught in the web of spiritual abuse - be it a pastor or a member of the congregation.
updated 4th May 2006
Why search for a wise man or why did the Pendergasts use legal means to stop the abuse and bullying at South Calgary Community Church?
1. In late September 2003 Elizabeth Wade the church secretary refused to provide a sermon tape to Jennifer. In tears she said she had been instructed by the pastors and elders that the Pendergasts could not borrow library books, tapes or have any other services while they refused to meet the elders. Jennifer made it clear this was not true. They would meet BUT only with a fair and independent third party to ensure the Pendergasts were not abused and threatened as they had been previously by Pastor Wallace. The changing of the locks was another issue. Repected members of the Christian community (including ex elders from South Calgary) also advised Barry & Jennifer strongly not to attend without an independent third party to ensure fairness. Others who had attended 'discipline' meetings with Wallace, Cumberlin and some elders and been severely hurt by the experiences and advised the need for a third party. In one case based on personal experience.
2. On numerous occasions Barry & Jennifer tried to use a scriptual approach (as required by South Calgary Bylaws) to solve and understand the greivances they had and which were directed at them. Barry tried to request a meeting with Pastor Wallace at the beginning to discuss their differences but was passed off to Wallace's assistant. No response was ever received. Early on the elders were asked to state their concerns directlty as required by Matthew 18:s15. However they chose to judge the Pendergasts first based on falsified evidence presented by Wallace, Cumberlin, Kevin Phillips and others. Numerous other attempts were made with elders and ministry leaders to solve the difference but none were answered. See the examples given in the documents. Barry and Jennifer called Michelle Toews an ex elder and pleaded for her to intervene. We had heard from several sources she had battled unsucessfully to help Jim Grady when he was being attacked by Pastors Wallace, Cumberlin and the elders. Michelle later denied this. Barry sent Michelle all the relevant material and she agreed to look into the issues directly at a meeting with elder Denise Chaulk and elder Chirman Kevin Phillips the following day. Michelle called back after her meeting and said she felt the elders had been fair and did not want to hear from the Pendergasts again. She disputed her role in trying to defend Jim Grady although by now several reliable sources had confirmed her role. Seems elder solidarity, even with past elders is paramount and defence of the pastors is the number one requirement - truth just takes a back seat . It was a great disapointment - another lost opportunity to put things right. The elders who had brutially treated Youth Pastor Jim Grady and forced him to resign were Pastor Jim Wallace, Pastor Marg Cumberlin, Ed Klettke,Jim Prichard, Dennis Wenaas, and Michelle Toews. In the late summer of 2004 Barry met with Ed Klette now with Ellel Ministries in Calgary, in an attempt to get a reconciliation started. Ed Klette never responded and perhaps Barry was naive to think he might.
3. On 2nd October 2003 Barry met with Ron Berg in Chicago - head of NABC, the denomination for SCCC asking for help to resolve the worsening situation. Berg is very familiar with SCCC and its past problems having been the area minister prior to his appointment in Chicago. He called Pastor Wallace and Kevin Phillips the chair of elders and insisted they use a third party to resolve this issue. In September 2004, in front of the mediator Kevin Phillips denied he was ever contacted.
4. On the 5th October 2003 Barry was at a function at the Billy Graham COVE in North Carolina with members of the Samaritans' Purse and Billy Graham team from Calgary. Barry used the opportunity to request a meeting with Diane Young the comptroller for Samaritan's Purse Canada and an elder at South Calgary Community Church. A note of the meeting is included in the 'documents' section. During this meeting Barry requested Diane to ask the elders to agree to the use of a third party to help solve the differences and look into other cases of alleged abuse by pastors Wallace and Cumberlin. Diane said she was uncomfortable discussing the issues.
5. On the 21st October 2003 Barry had a phone conversation with elder Denise Chaulk and up to that time regarded as a good friend of the Pendergasts. In the conversation Barry pleaded for using a third party to help resolve the differences and look into other cases of abuse. Denise said we could come and tell the elders about the other abuse. Barry said only with an independent party present. Barry sent a record of that conversation with Denise to a close Christian friend and the way Denise tried to contain the abuse story by not agreeing to an outside person being involved.
6. Soon after the Pendergasts were then excommunicated in a brutal fashion based on false evidence by Pastors, elders and ministry leaders.
7. After their excommunication the Pendergasts wrote to the elders on 27th October 2003 again requesting the use of a third party to help solve the differences.The request was turned down
8. On 6 Nov 2003 the Pendergasts wrote to Elder Chaulk in response to her email again asking for a third party to help. The request was turned down.
9. Only when all these options had been tried and failed, and after seeking counsel with a number of respected Christians (including some past elders of South Calgary equally aware of past abuses) did the Pendergasts seek out a wise man. The only available option was to seek a hearing before a independent judge. Who else was there? Almost immediately the elders were served with the request to meet before a judge did they agree to mediation that resulted in them being found to have acted inappropriately, by refusing to allow the Pendergasts request for a third party in the first place. Throughout the process, especailly as they tried to work out a fair solution for their re-entry as members Barry & Jennifer were happy to let the mediator work towards a fair decision - perhaps arbitrate - especially on the topic of getting their medical and legal fees paid by the church. See an email confirming this. Sadly the elders insisted on removing the mediator status of Rolly Lang after he found them at fault on December 10th 2003.
10. In March 2004 the elders admitted in a written an apology their failure to observe certain bibical nd legal responsibilities of fairness and natural justice yet nobody held them accountable either inside or outside the church. The first time the written appology was isssued to the congregation the Pendergasts were no allowed to be present. When they were allowed to attend again not one elder or pastor ever approached the Pendergasts to verbally acknowledge their own sorrow about what they had done. Most elders and pastors completely ignored the Pendergasts.The elders and their legal representative added additional wording to the agreed statement to hurt the Pendergasts and would then hound, discredit, stalk and shun the Pendergasts to force them to totally accept the blame, fully submit to Pastor Wallace or leave. Was this to hide their original decision to falsify evidence? It had always worked before - the shunned and abused persons alway left! Barely one soul challenged their behaviour - in fact most of the congregation joined in the abuse. Barry admits he was extremely angry at finding the offensive added wording to the agreed statement had not been removed on the second printing issued in the church bulletin on the day he and Jennifer returned after the 6 months away. He vented that anger on elder Craig Edwards and others. Barry would later express sorrow for that outburst. Pastor Blanton's mother-in-law, and a judge would be the only one connected with the church who would be critical of this changing of an agreed statement. Seemed the elders were quite happy to go on breaking any rule on fairness and reasonable behaviour to cover up their own guilt over the conspiracy they had been involved in to protect Pastor Wallace.
11. During the period after the Pendergast were reinstated and the second excommunication the pastors and elders appear to have used the services of lawyers extensively to ensure they would be rid of the Pendergasts the second time. The Pendergasts opted to mainly rely on the mediator turned moderator at this stage for advice. The moderator assured the Pendergasts the elders were genuine in their desire to reconcile.Subsequent events would show this not to be true although we believe the moderator was not to blame, merely mislead. The Pendergasts incurred legal costs of $21000 versus the reported $38,000 spent by the church. Seemed the church was determined to use a legal rather than a Christian approach to solve the differences. Should be noted that according to the bylaws and governance the highest decision making body at South Calgary Community Church is the congregation however the decision to go ahead with this expenditure was never approved by a congregational vote. Tithe money was irresponsibly spent on a legal fight when it could have been used on furthering God's Kingdom. Could the fact that the treasurer was Bill Cumberlin, the husband of Pastor Marg Cumberlin? Certainly not a healthy relationship in even a secular company.
12. Numerous times the Pendergasts asked for a fair reconciliation process (details on this site) but they were all turned down. At their last meeting with the elders, before they were banished a second time, the Pendergasts passionately askedthe elders to consider their role under Ezekiel 34 - to be like shepherds in dealing with the discipline process. Only days later during a sermon on Ezekiel 37 this request was mocked by Pastor Wallace - he convinced the elders and congregation this was the most misunderstood passage in the Bible - often used to unfairly attack church leaders. Its a sad situation when the elders are dishonest but tragic when the Bible is deliberately distorted by a person of trust.
Could the Pendergasts have acted differently? Should they have just turned the other cheeek? They could have protested outside the church at the first excommunication although they were both emotionally and psychologically weak and distraught. Should they have left submissively knowing so much abuse had occurred and more would happen without decisive action? Ron Berg, Head of North American Baptist Conference told Barry he should have walked away quietly rather than sue a fellow Christian, even though Ron had intimate knowledge of the level of past abuse at South Calgary Community Church. Have the Pendergasts actions helped rid South Calgary of the spirit of abuse and psychological bullying it had for a long period? Many experts in the field agree that spiritual abuse is equal in severity to crime of sexual abuse - we will be writing about this more shortly.We want to hear from you! This is a real situation being faced by many of our fellow Christians right now and possibly in the church you are now attending.