Top Seven Mistakes Church Leaders Make
Seven common mistakes that lead to permanent damage in churches.
Mistake #1: Denial
Some people exercise denial when they fear the consequences of facing a problem head-on. Or, they play down the trouble by saying, "They'll get over it." No they won't. Sparks of unhappiness do not go out in the human heart. Rather, they smolder beneath the surface where they are not seen. In time they burst forth and can produce destructive results.
Mistake #2: Let's Wait and Pray About It
Sparks may go out in a natural forest, but sparks of contention do not go out in the human heart until properly resolved. When a number of sparks in a church join together around a common cause, a firestorm is on the horizon.
Here's the proverbial "eleventh commandment": The longer you take to make tough decisions, the tougher they become. If you wait long enough, the decision will be made for you and the results could be far more devastating than if you had made the decision when the time was right.
The number one problem we face in working with churches is that often they wait too long to seek help. The sooner we are invited the greater the results we can help you achieve. There is a time to wait before the Lord and pray. There is also the time to carry out what God has instructed us to do, then wait and pray.
So, do not wait to see if it's going to get worse. Get professional Christian help at the earliest smell of smoke, rather than waiting until flames are pouring out of the windows!
Mistake #3: We Can Handle It Ourselves
Here are the realities. First, people of high intentions often unwittingly blow on the sparks the wrong way and, instead of putting the sparks out, they ignite them into a full-blown firestorm. It only takes one wrong word, or even one wrong tone of voice, to turn an effort at settlement into a disaster. Once that happens it's too late to say, "Well, what I really meant to say was ..."
Second , the pastor must not be cast into the position of mediator. Even if the pastor is not part of the problem, each side wants this person to champion its cause. The pastor must be held in a position to minister the grace of God to every party; however, Christian professionals can help from a completely independent and neutral position.
Third , the ruling board must not try to handle the problem for essentially the same reasons. This proves divisive to the board and ultimately to the church.
Mistake #4: Let's Ignore It and It Will Go Away
So-called positive thinkers often say things like this. Or they may say, "Let's just put it behind us and move ahead."
There are two problems with this approach. First, problems do not go away by ignoring them or putting them behind you. A grievance buried in the human heart smolders until there is justice.
This leads to the second problem. When God's people are not respected and treated justly, the Lord Himself is offended. The God of love is also the God of justice. A church will not know the rich blessing of God unless it is willing to honor God and His people with the most fair and just settlement possible.
Mistake #5: Let's Power the Problem Away
Often, when a church suffers a loss of members resulting from conflict, someone will say, "We had a backdoor revival." In other words, we got rid of the trouble people.
In rare cases that may be true. But too often, people are driven out by leaders who don't want to deal with the problem. Most of the time the church lost good people who were not given a proper hearing. Generally, when people feel forced out, everyone including those who remained lost a divine opportunity to grow.
The burden of a dispute on the Body of Christ can weigh so heavily upon church leadership that a "quick-fix" is sought. That fact usually takes the form of a premature vote of termination. If either of these actions is taken prematurely or without Biblically addressing the real issues, the church may suffer permanent harm.
Remember that anytime there is a church split, there is an ugly rip in the garments of Christ's Bride. "Powering" people out of a church is not a God-honoring solution.
Mistake #6: We Can't Afford Outside Help
One leader was presenting our ministry to his church. Here's what he said. "We have spent a lot of money on air conditioning so that we can comfortably sit in this church. Now let's spend some money so that we can comfortably sit together in this church."
Your church not only can afford help, it can't afford not to get help. Consider this: A church budget of one hundred thousand dollars a year may sound small, but in ten years that's one million dollars. Think of the mission outreach that is damaged, let alone the local reputation when a church does not get the proper help.
Mistake #7: Let's Get Help From Our Denomination
Denominational leaders are deeply concerned about the conflicts raging throughout many of their churches. Their frustration, however, is that they face the same handicap as the local pastor: they are generally perceived by the pastor as being biased toward the congregation, or the congregation perceives them as being biased toward the pastor. Tragically, denominations often lose churches when they act as mediator of a group and the church is not happy with their recommendations. It is better that a faction be unhappy with SEA than with the denomination.
SEA is most supportive of the pastor, church and denomination by offering a purely neutral approach. We are structured to work within the boundaries of Biblical belief systems. Our leading purpose is to preserve and restore churches in their denominational setting, not detract from it. No pastor, church or denomination has a better or more trusted friend than SEA.
SUSEK EVANGELISTIC ASSOCIATION
P.O. Box 3007, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania 17325
Phone: (866) CON-FLICT / Fax: (717) 337-1833
sea@nbn.net
Seven common mistakes that lead to permanent damage in churches.
Mistake #1: Denial
Some people exercise denial when they fear the consequences of facing a problem head-on. Or, they play down the trouble by saying, "They'll get over it." No they won't. Sparks of unhappiness do not go out in the human heart. Rather, they smolder beneath the surface where they are not seen. In time they burst forth and can produce destructive results.
Mistake #2: Let's Wait and Pray About It
Sparks may go out in a natural forest, but sparks of contention do not go out in the human heart until properly resolved. When a number of sparks in a church join together around a common cause, a firestorm is on the horizon.
Here's the proverbial "eleventh commandment": The longer you take to make tough decisions, the tougher they become. If you wait long enough, the decision will be made for you and the results could be far more devastating than if you had made the decision when the time was right.
The number one problem we face in working with churches is that often they wait too long to seek help. The sooner we are invited the greater the results we can help you achieve. There is a time to wait before the Lord and pray. There is also the time to carry out what God has instructed us to do, then wait and pray.
So, do not wait to see if it's going to get worse. Get professional Christian help at the earliest smell of smoke, rather than waiting until flames are pouring out of the windows!
Mistake #3: We Can Handle It Ourselves
Here are the realities. First, people of high intentions often unwittingly blow on the sparks the wrong way and, instead of putting the sparks out, they ignite them into a full-blown firestorm. It only takes one wrong word, or even one wrong tone of voice, to turn an effort at settlement into a disaster. Once that happens it's too late to say, "Well, what I really meant to say was ..."
Second , the pastor must not be cast into the position of mediator. Even if the pastor is not part of the problem, each side wants this person to champion its cause. The pastor must be held in a position to minister the grace of God to every party; however, Christian professionals can help from a completely independent and neutral position.
Third , the ruling board must not try to handle the problem for essentially the same reasons. This proves divisive to the board and ultimately to the church.
Mistake #4: Let's Ignore It and It Will Go Away
So-called positive thinkers often say things like this. Or they may say, "Let's just put it behind us and move ahead."
There are two problems with this approach. First, problems do not go away by ignoring them or putting them behind you. A grievance buried in the human heart smolders until there is justice.
This leads to the second problem. When God's people are not respected and treated justly, the Lord Himself is offended. The God of love is also the God of justice. A church will not know the rich blessing of God unless it is willing to honor God and His people with the most fair and just settlement possible.
Mistake #5: Let's Power the Problem Away
Often, when a church suffers a loss of members resulting from conflict, someone will say, "We had a backdoor revival." In other words, we got rid of the trouble people.
In rare cases that may be true. But too often, people are driven out by leaders who don't want to deal with the problem. Most of the time the church lost good people who were not given a proper hearing. Generally, when people feel forced out, everyone including those who remained lost a divine opportunity to grow.
The burden of a dispute on the Body of Christ can weigh so heavily upon church leadership that a "quick-fix" is sought. That fact usually takes the form of a premature vote of termination. If either of these actions is taken prematurely or without Biblically addressing the real issues, the church may suffer permanent harm.
Remember that anytime there is a church split, there is an ugly rip in the garments of Christ's Bride. "Powering" people out of a church is not a God-honoring solution.
Mistake #6: We Can't Afford Outside Help
One leader was presenting our ministry to his church. Here's what he said. "We have spent a lot of money on air conditioning so that we can comfortably sit in this church. Now let's spend some money so that we can comfortably sit together in this church."
Your church not only can afford help, it can't afford not to get help. Consider this: A church budget of one hundred thousand dollars a year may sound small, but in ten years that's one million dollars. Think of the mission outreach that is damaged, let alone the local reputation when a church does not get the proper help.
Mistake #7: Let's Get Help From Our Denomination
Denominational leaders are deeply concerned about the conflicts raging throughout many of their churches. Their frustration, however, is that they face the same handicap as the local pastor: they are generally perceived by the pastor as being biased toward the congregation, or the congregation perceives them as being biased toward the pastor. Tragically, denominations often lose churches when they act as mediator of a group and the church is not happy with their recommendations. It is better that a faction be unhappy with SEA than with the denomination.
SEA is most supportive of the pastor, church and denomination by offering a purely neutral approach. We are structured to work within the boundaries of Biblical belief systems. Our leading purpose is to preserve and restore churches in their denominational setting, not detract from it. No pastor, church or denomination has a better or more trusted friend than SEA.
SUSEK EVANGELISTIC ASSOCIATION
P.O. Box 3007, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania 17325
Phone: (866) CON-FLICT / Fax: (717) 337-1833
sea@nbn.net